Why did almost all White Male American Writers have beards and moustaches?

God is insane. Who could possibly watch CAREBEARS (ick!) when we have shows like "Dragontales" and movies like The Land Before Time? I mean do they really expect us to believe that TEDDYBEARS with funny pictures on their stomaches live in a magical fairy horse land filled with rainbows and candy mountains and super blue skies and fluffy clouds??? Come on. That's tantamount to pretending that aardvarks, rabbits and bulldog twins are friends who attend a school taught by a rat. NO. Clearly, however, dinosaurs used to talk to each other as they thwarted sharp-tooth after sharp-tooth before befriending a tiny blue-purple one who was going to "Have Friends For Dinner" (Which resulted in a slight misunderstanding between dinosaurs), and clearly, if I ever managed to find myself a Dragon Scale and if I ever manage to learn the secret chant, I will be magically transported to a fantastical waterfall world filled with friendly blue and pink and two-headed dragons. Please. The kind of bullshit that we feed our children. And we wonder why they grow up to be such delusional retards. They should have watched more sensible cartoons like "Tom and Jerry" and "Roadrunner".

Anyway. I was sitting in an English classroom waiting for the teacher to give me papers to grade and I was sitting in front if a poster devoted to American Writers. What did I notice. 4 of the people on said poster lacked beards and moustaches, and 3 of them were women, and the 4th a black man by the name of James Baldwin. So here's the list of White Male American Writers with bears and moustaches:


Henry David Thoreau, Natural Hypocrite


Nathaniel Hawthorne. My Favorite.


Mark Twain, funniest person ever born


Henry Adams, virtual nobody


Ernest Hemingway who, aside from being a Sean Connery wannabe, had a horrible name and wrote the funniest novels, though that was unintentional (For Who The Bell Tolls. Trust me, just read it).


Among my favorites


The beautiful...

And I apologize for the super long hiatus

Care Bear... STARE

I'm lame. I'm watching all the old Care Bears movies on YouTube. They're so cheesy, the dialogue reminds me of my old Detective Barbie computer games. And that is like, the epitome of cheesiness. But I totally remember why I loved them so much. Except that now, when someone mentions Braveheart (the lion dude), I get a picture of Mel Gibson in my head. 

"Let go of me, you cheese eater!" "C'mon, let's go get that nut!" That dialogue is just pure win.

Oh, and I must say that its really sad that in last night's game, the Sharks were playing the best while shorthanded. As in, they got half of their shots off in the first period when Marleau and Grier were manning the penalty kill. They were even able to get a shortie; the only other goal they scored was on a 5-on-3. So they either have to have a huge advantage or on a disadvantage. That's good to know.

The most WTF moment during the game - which is hard to do, considering how badly the Sharks played - was the "2 minutes for roughing" call after Roy and Semenov fought. Just watch (sorry for Calgary feed, only one I could find):

Seriously, those refs should be fired or something. That's probably the easiest call to make, EVER. I'd really like to know what was going through their heads. I would have loved to have Semenov off for those five minutes. We got jipped out of it in their first fight in the game (also 2 minutes for roughing).

I think I'm going to make some more brownies. Most of the ones I made yesterday have disappeared, which kind of pisses me off since I had a grand total of two. I want my brownies, damnit!

OMFG God had better like her christmas present

Ann, I started you present in November, and I'm still sort of finishing it. You'd better like it.

I forgot we had this blog for a few days.

It feels like I'm going through hockey withdrawals cause I missed the game on New Years.

I love Milan Michalek.

I hate School.

I hate college.

I don't think I'm going to get in anywhere.

Recently I bumped into an old elementary school friend at the mall. She's writing her college essays on how she created a basketball league for disadvantaged East Side Elementary students, and how it felt playing for the varsity teams for basketball AND volleyball all four years. FOR BOTH. She's also going to graduate with a 4.3 give or take maybe .1 point. Out mothers decided to play a game of "My Horse Is Bigger Than Your Horse". Needless to say, I lost. I think I'm going to go kill myself now.

Why is everyone from my old elementary school taller than me??? I mean, I know I was one of about 2 Asians at the school, but really? I mean there have to be SOME short white people. Stupid Mormons. I guess with all those wives and all those kids some of them have to be tall. Maybe they only let the tall ones reproduce. I think that must be it. All Mormons have tall genes in them now because the short ones don't get to have babies.

I mean, I pride myself on being tall for an Asian. I would know, my school consists of 65 percent Asian. Yes Asians seem to like everything to be small - currently I believe they are trying to make game boy game cartridges even smaller than they already are. I had to buy five copies of Tetris and Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader each because I lost them. I found three of my copies of Tetris, so I don't have to worry about losing them too much. I think my sister stole all my copies of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader though.

Why is Tetris not considered a word by Blogger's spell check? I mean isn't that one of the oldest most long standing and most popular games of all time? Other than like breakout (a.k.a. brick). Hell, Blogger, apostrophe S is not a word according to the annoying red lines that show up under words that are not words. "Blogger's". Incorrect.

I haven't slept in almost 2 days now. Goodnight. Hopefully.